There is a distinct difference between who I am today and who I was 13 years ago when I first started my journey towards becoming a coach helping people navigate life transitions.
Thirteen years ago, when major life changes hit, my default reaction was to fight back by doing more. I would push harder, cut back on sleep, override my body's signals, and pretend I had everything under control right up until my health crashed or my energy hit rock bottom. Back then, I thought surviving change was purely a test of endurance.
Today, life still throws massive, unpredictable waves. The difference isn't that my life suddenly became smooth and calm. The difference is that I stopped trying to fight against the change and learned how to steady my internal energy instead.
As an energy coach specializing in life changes, I am sharing the exact 6 habits I use (we’ll call them Casey’s 6) to keep my head clear, my body calm, and my energy steady through intense seasons. During our time together, you will see how these habits work, how they stop the physical and mental symptoms of stress, and how they protect your energy so you can choose a better response when life feels heavy.
To understand why these 6 habits matter, it helps to see what they were built to withstand.
Recently, my life hit what I call a "compound transition", which is a season in life where multiple life changes happen one after another in a short window of time.
For myself in just six months:
- 💼 I relaunched and rebranded my business, which required months of energy, focus, and planning.
- 💕 We celebrated the childhood friend of my child getting married.
- 😢 I walked through the heavy reality of anticipated grief as a loved one battled cancer, eventually attending their funeral while supporting those I love through deep loss.
- 🏥 Our daughter-in-law was suddenly admitted to the hospital with severe pre-eclampsia.
- 👶🏼 Our grandchild arrived two months early, leading to a long, stressful month in the NICU.
- 🚚 One month after mom and baby safely came home, our son finished his training program, and the new family of 3 moved halfway across the country.
At one point during this whirlwind, I reverted back to my old tendencies & tried to do it all: hosting a baby shower, driving hours to a funeral, driving hours back for a wedding, and running on only eight hours of sleep across three days.
The result?
My physical body gave out, and I ended up with pneumonia.
Scientists and health professionals call this intense physical reaction your allostatic load. Allostatic load simply means the physical wear-and-tear that builds up in your body when stress stays high for too long without a real break.
When your allostatic load gets too high, your nervous system stays on high alert, your immune system drops, and your brain gets stuck in decision paralysis. It was clear, I had to make a choice: keep pushing through my intense schedule or honor my limits and boundaries and return to the habits that protect my energy. I chose to honor my Self and shifted my habits to non-negotiable.
When I originally shared these exact experiences and practices with the readers on my email subscriber list, I’m a little embarrassed to admit the response surprised me. People started reaching out to tell me how helpful it was to see that I deal with heavy, compound changes too and that having a practical way through made a real difference. Some readers specifically asked if I would share these habits in a public post so they could easily reference them and share them with loved ones going through their own difficult seasons.
So, if you’ve ever wondered if I read your comments and suggestions, I hope this reassures you that I listen to what you need and what you ask for.
So here are the exact 6 habits I use to keep my energy balanced, my nervous system regulated, and my mind clear through these heavy life changes.
1. Reflective Journaling 📝
- What I Do: I try to make the time to journal almost every morning on my back porch. Please note “almost”. Remember our is “Always progress. Not perfection”. I use a mix of structured prompts and free writing. If you're starting out, try this simple setup: write down three things that make you smile (no matter how simple, with zero judgment), three emotions you've been feeling and why, and your top three priorities for the day (only three). Then, use page two for a complete brain dump.
- Where We Often Miss the Mark: Many people hesitate to start because they think they need to write deep, eloquent entries or follow strict rules. When time gets tight, they abandon it. Others use their notebook solely to re-read and dwell on negative events, which keeps stress circulating instead of clearing it out.
- How It Helps in Change: When life shifts rapidly, your mind holds onto every unmade decision, new variable, and unspoken fear like dozens of open tabs on a slow computer. Moving those thoughts out of your head and onto paper allows your mind to stop carrying the invisible weight.
- Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviors It Interrupts: Late-night worry loops, overwhelming brain fog, and the behavioral habit of committing yourself to too many tasks at once.
- Primary Energy Boost: Mental Energy.
2. Stepping Outdoors and Into Nature 🌳
- What I Do: Getting outside is part of my core morning routine. I write on my back porch and walk multiple times a week with a friend. When life gets extra demanding, I step outside to sit on the porch, listen to the birds, watch the trees rustle, or walk barefoot in the grass.
- Where We Often Miss the Mark: It is easy to view stepping outside as just another box to check on a workout list, or to stay glued to a phone screen while walking. Looking at emails or news in the sun keeps your body in high-alert mode, preventing your mind from absorbing the calming benefits of your surroundings.
- How It Helps in Change: Neuroscientist Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory explains that our nervous system is constantly scanning our environment for signals of safety or threat. Unpredictable life changes strip away your routine, which your brain automatically interprets as a sign of danger. But stepping into natural daylight, fresh air, and open space sends instant physical "safety" signals to your brain, helping your body drop out of the "fight-or-flight" mode triggered by change.
- Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviors It Interrupts: Physical restlessness, anxious chest tightness, and the urge to stay locked indoors behind screens.
- Primary Energy Boost: Physical & Environmental Energy.
3. Listening to Intentional Music 🎵
- What I Do: I turn on music tailored to what I'm doing and how I need to feel. I keep specific playlists for work, workouts, and calming down. I play lyrics-free instrumental music while working to avoid distraction and lower stress, and I even play instrumental tracks on low volume when walking through crowded spaces.
- Where We Often Miss the Mark: It's common to let aggressive talk radio, stressful news updates, or loud, chaotic audio run in the background while working or driving. That constant background noise silently drains your stamina without you realizing it.
- How It Helps in Change: Life changes can generate a messy mix of heavy emotions, like grief, frustration, or fear, that we often suppress just to make it through a busy day. Music though bypasses complex logic and communicates directly with your brain's emotional center, giving your nervous system a gentle, structured way to process and release that stored emotional tension.
- Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviors It Interrupts: Emotional numbness, sudden irritability, and sensory overload in busy environments.
- Primary Energy Boost: Emotional Energy.
4. Ruthlessly Parsing Down to Bare Necessities ✂️
- What I Do: When major life changes hit, I start cutting back on optional tasks, extra chores, and non-essential commitments. The more changes that pile up, the more aggressive I am about trimming my schedule based on my actual energy levels.
- Where We Often Miss the Mark: People often try to maintain the exact same schedule and high expectations during a crisis as they do during quiet seasons. They feel guilty for saying no or leaving non-vital chores undone. But as the old saying goes, you cannot pour from an empty cup.
- How It Helps in Change: Finding your way through life changes requires a massive amount of internal fuel. When you try to keep up your normal routine during an intense season, your system runs out of power. Cutting away non-vital tasks protects your remaining battery power for what truly matters.
- Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviors It Interrupts: Interrupts chronic fatigue, stress-induced illnesses (like my experience with pneumonia), and the habit of people-pleasing at your own expense.
- Primary Energy Boost: Physical & Environmental Energy.
5. Leaning Into Safe, Soothing Connections 👥
- What I Do: I lean on a small group of family and friends who soothe my energy, hold space without judgment, and let me be completely honest. I prefer to skip large social gatherings when I can. When large events are unavoidable, I don't judge myself for it. Instead, I protect my energy by boosting my reserves right before and after.
- Where We Often Miss the Mark: In heavy seasons of life, many people either isolate themselves completely or continue to hang out with people who require high emotional effort. Spending time with individuals who force you to put on a brave face drains what little energy you have left. And as humans we need connection.
- How It Helps in Change: Sudden life changes can make you feel isolated and overwhelmed, as if you have to carry the whole burden by yourself. But humans rely on co-regulation. When you spend time around someone who is steady, calm, and supportive, your nervous system naturally mirrors their steady state, lowering the high stress levels that change creates.
- Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviors It Interrupts: Feelings of isolation, emotional exhaustion, and the behavioral pattern of hiding your true feelings.
- Primary Energy Boost: Social Energy.
6. Getting Present in the Moment 😌
- What I Do: When we are in the middle of major changes, concentrating and staying in the moment feels incredibly hard, yet it is more essential than ever. Presence means accepting what is happening right now without trying to run away from it or fix it. To do that, I give myself permission to recognize that big emotions, like joy and grief, can exist at the exact same time without fighting them. And I build this presence skill through focused work blocks (90 minutes to two hours with zero notifications) and deep-dive conversations. In public, I focus deeply on one person: their voice, eyes, and words, tuning out the surrounding room. It has a beautifully mutual benefit because it builds deep connection, helps them feel seen, heard, and understood and teaches me how to give that same quiet presence to my own internal experience.
- Where We Often Miss the Mark: People often confuse presence with forcing themselves to "think positive" or pretending everything is fine. Real presence is about acknowledging how you feel right now without jumping into future panic or trying to solve problems that haven't even happened yet.
- How It Helps in Change: Change instinctively pulls your mind out of the present and pushes it into future-focused panic ("What if X happens?") or past-focused regret. Bringing your full awareness back to the exact room, conversation, or emotion you are experiencing right now interrupts that panic loop and gives your brain the space it needs to make clear, grounded decisions.
- Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviors It Interrupts: Catastrophic thinking, scatterbrained focus, emotional avoidance, and feeling disconnected from your body.
- Primary Energy Boost: Spiritual Energy.
The biggest reason Casey’s 6 works when life gets chaotic is because I don't wait for a crisis to start practicing them.
I keep these habits active during normal, quiet weeks. Because they are already part of my regular routine, I don't have to waste precious brain power trying to figure out how to care for myself when an emergency happens, because my body automatically relies on them.
Thirteen years ago, I thought strength meant standing like a stone wall against the wind of change. Now I know that true strength comes from building a steady internal foundation through small, repeatable habits.
Whether you are in a quiet season or the chaotic season of change, you can start using these habits right now. You don't need to change your entire life overnight. Look at Casey’s 6 and select just one habit to start with today. Give your nervous system a chance to rest, lower your stress load, and take the first step toward reclaiming your energy.
Want to keep these habits easily accessible?
Get a clean, printable PDF of Casey’s 6 along with a journal prompt page to start with
and keep these habits active when life gets heavy.
Thank you for spending time with me today. If this sparked a thought, a question, or is something you've been sitting with, I’d love to keep the conversation going. Pull up your chair and leave a message (in the comments or by email).
And remember, you don't have to navigate these changes alone. You can find more science-backed strategies and soulful reflections at the Embracing Change Resource Center. Let’s find your calm in the chaos together.
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